Dare You To Move
by Arisprite
Summary: It all came down to either act or do nothing, and really the alternative was too horrible to contemplate. There wasn't a choice, no matter the consequences. Part 5 of the Physician's Apprentice Series.
1. Watching You Now

**Title:** Dare You To Move: Watching You Now

**Author: **Arisprite

**Summary: **It all came down to either act or do nothing, and really the alternative was too horrible to contemplate. There wasn't a choice really, no matter the consequences.

**Word Count: **8,372 (Whole thing)

**Warnings:** **(General**) Wounds, blood, gore, potentially dangerous, and perhaps not thoroughly researched medical practices, tiny bit of swearing. No slash intended, but friendship can look like more from the outside. You're free to take my words however you like. **(This part)** Description of wounds and treatment, some torture, a bit of swearing.

**Disclaimer:** Obviously I am not the owner of BBC or Shine. I'm a college student! Title and song lyrics belong to Switchfoot's "Dare You To Move".

**Series:** Part 5 of the Physician's Apprentice Series (formerly titled Five Times Merlin Had To Heal Someone Else, and One Time He Had To Heal Himself). Merlin has gotten tired of never knowing what to do in emergencies, and heaven knows his healing magic is unreliable at best. So he begins to study medicine under Gaius, just in case.

**A/N:** This part became a monster, and is much longer than any of the others, so it will be broken in chapters. Please, read, review and enjoy!

**Thank You:** To my sister, **Kate-7h, **who is awesome, and is my unofficial beta in all things Merlin. I owe you a treat!

* * *

><p><em>Welcome to the planet<em>

_Welcome to existence_

_Everyone's here_

_Everyone's here_

_Everybody's watching you now_

_Everybody waits for you now_

_What happens next?_

_What happens next?_

* * *

><p>"This is entirely your fault, you know." Arthur said petulantly. Merlin rolled his eyes, and stared at the ceiling of the cave they were sequestered in. It was a dark cave, so he couldn't make much of it out, but it was better than seeing the anger and pain in Arthur's face, or the hopeless situation they had found themselves in.<p>

Arthur continued, his voice a bit weaker than before. "Well, maybe not _entirely_. More like 70%. 60/40 and not a bit under that..." He trailed off, and Merlin stole another peak at the king.

His face was thunderous, but the anger was giving way to pain as his head ache made itself known. Blood caked down the side of his face, and he did not have the strength to hold his head up for long. It was currently leaning against Merlin's shoulder; tied up as they were, neither of them had much choice.

After overwhelming both Merlin and Arthur, with injuries aplenty between the two of them, their captors had thrown them in the back of this cave, making camp at the front. The warmth of their fire was far enough away that Merlin and Arthur could feel none of it, and both had been shivering for a while now.

Merlin bit his lip as he looked Arthur over again. The head wound was only one worry; Arthur had many cuts and bruises from the rough fight, and worst was a deep gash on his thigh. His bound hands could reach from where they sat, and thus Merlin's neckerchief was tied solidly around the wound, but it wasn't near enough. It still bled sluggishly, soaking the cloth, without treatment Arthur was in real danger of infection.

Merlin tensed, shifting with a wince, careful not to dislodge Arthur's head. He'd been hit too, his furious fighting after Arthur'd been hit, meant that he became the sole target for a few minutes until he was restrained, and thus was covered with bruises, though nothing major. Sitting on a hard rock floor with the nearly dead weight of Arthur pressing against him didn't help.

He could have used his magic, he'd been ready to, after Arthur had fallen, but a solid kick to the midsection stole his breath, and by the time he'd regained his wits, he was bound tight. Merlin now waited for the opportune moment to escape, hopefully without Arthur or the bandits knowing about his magic.

At that moment, the bandits as one rose from their seats around the fire, to greet a newcomer at the mouth of the cave. They whispered together for a few moments, and Merlin strained to hear the words to no avail. The man seemed to bring the other bandits surprising news, for they reeled back in shock, and then turned to stare at their two prisoners behind them. Merlin returned their look with a mighty glare. Arthur sensed his tension, and raised his head with an effort, peering at the group with squinted eyes.

After a few more hurried murmurs, the bandits turned and came deeper into the cave, closer to Merlin and Arthur.

"Well, well. Looks like we have caught a prize, now. Haven't we?" The leader, a nasty man named Benjaminus leaned forwards, and peered into Arthur's face. Arthur stared back impassively, all signs of his concussion gone, in its place was raw nobility. "A little king."

Merlin felt a rush of ice, for up to this point, the bandits had given no sign that they knew Arthur was the king of Camelot. A king was a great prize indeed, and a lone one in the wilderness a vulnerable one.

"And the king of Camelot, no less." Benjaminus drew a thin knife, causing Merlin to tense, magic nearly flashing out from behind his eyes, but he merely picked at his dirty nails with it. "Your safe return would bring a mighty price."

Arthur could not deny it, and stayed silent, his eyes dark, and face pale.

Merlin glared at the potbellied bandit, wrinkling his nose in the hopes of showing how absolutely disgusted he was with the man. It made little difference, and Benjaminus didn't seem to even notice, but it relieved some of Merlin's anger.

Not all, though, as it flared up again when Benjaminus heaved himself up, and spat at the two of them. A wad of spittle hit Arthur's trousers, and Arthur glared, a similar look of disgust on his face.

Benjaminus laughed, and then his attention went to Merlin. "Who are you then? Not a knight."

Merlin bristled. "I'm his personal servant." He growled. A grin twisted the bandit's face.

"Rest assured, servant, your king will have the best accommodations we have to offer." His voice lilted with sarcasm.

He left them, swaggering back to the fire circle, leaving them alone again in the dark and chill. Arthur slumped back, now that the enemy eyes were off him, his borrowed strength leaving him.

He titled his head to Merlin, eyes half lidded.

"You shouldn't have said anything, Merlin. Antagonizing them is a bad idea."

Merlin half sighed, half shrugged; not able to regret it.

"What will happen now they know you're the king?" Merlin whispered, his instincts still to keep it a secret. Arthur shifted, groaning a bit as his injuries flared.

"They'll probably send for a ransom, which Agravaine will pay, and we'll be out of here in a few days." He sounded sugarily optimistic. Merlin furrowed his brow.

"And if something goes wrong?" Arthur shook his head.

"Nothing will go wrong."

Arthur's breathing was getting worse, Merlin realized, and he looked closer at the king in alarm. His face was a pasty pale color, worse than before, and he had two flushed spots, high on each cheek. Worry rushed over him, and he wished more than ever that his hands were free, or that they were out of the bandit's line of sight.

"Arthur? Are you feeling alright?" Merlin whispered, trying to get Arthur to respond. Arthur blinked at him, his head wobbling on his neck like a new born.

"Actually, Merlin...not really..."

Merlin's eyes widened in alarm as Arthur's body went mostly limp, head hanging, though he was still upright. Merlin reached forward with his two hands, still tied together, and gently maneuvered Arthur over to lie on his side, with his head in Merlin's lap. It had to be more comfortable than leaning on a wall, even if his hands were still bound.

From this position, Merlin could feel the fire raging under Arthur's forehead, his skin dry and hot to touch. He must have been sickening for a while now, and Merlin kicked himself for not noticing sooner.

He carded his bound fingers through the sweaty blond locks, and looked anxiously down Arthur's body at the wound on his thigh. That was the problem, Merlin knew. Infection had set in, during the hours they'd been captured; much longer and Arthur would have real problems.

Merlin whispered a healing spell he'd learned, but he was far from the wound, and rather stuck under Arthur's head and shoulders, and it didn't seem to do much anyway.

Merlin sighed, and brushed back Arthur's hair again. Helplessness filled him, but at the very least he could stay up, and watch over the king though the night.

* * *

><p>The next day, Arthur was a little better, more aware, and able to give a hearty glare to his captures when they came with a small amount of water, but nothing else.<p>

"We need food." Arthur demanded, face pale, but determined. He'd not sat up, mostly because his bound arms had not the strength nor leverage to push himself up, but he was more capable than most at sounding threatening while lying flat on his back.

The bandits ignored him, though Benjaminus from across the room gave him a scowl of epic proportions.

Merlin poured his share of water into Arthur's mouth before he could protest or even notice, though afterwards Arthur's glare rivaled Benjaminus'.

"Merlin..." Arthur growled. Merlin shook his head firmly.

"I'm fire. You have a fever." And indeed, his two bound hands on Arthur's forehead proved Merlin right, as he was still much too warm.

"'M fine..." Arthur murmured, and Merlin looked towards the ceiling in exasperation.

"Of course."

Their exchange was interrupted by Benjaminus approaching again. Arthur saw him, and struggled to sit up. With Merlin's help he was just able to, though he still leaned heavily on his servant.

"What do you want?" Merlin fired off, done with being here. Benjaminus laughed at him.

"Mouthy, isn't he?" He said to Arthur. Arthur did not reply. "We've reached a decision, your highness." He continued, his voice mocking. "My band and I, we're slave traders you see. A ransom, like you were hoping, would pay, but selling you and your little servant, now that would fetch a better price. A king is worth a mighty sum, and you, servant...well, you're quite pretty. I'm sure I can find something for you." He chuckled, his verdict given.

Arthur had been glaring, and at his words, he went white with anger and fear.

"I won't let you do this!" He lunged forwards, surprising both Merlin and Benjaminus, and managed to get a powerful doubled handed hit to the bandit's face, before he was restrained. Two large men pulled him back, and he slumped in between them, anger still radiating off him in waves.

Merlin was on his knees, watching anxiously as Arthur was grabbed and thrown to the ground in front of Benjaminus. The fat bandit wiped a bit of blood from his aching jaw, and growled at the king. It was the first time Merlin had seen him honestly angry, and he had to admit that it was unnerving.

"Get the cat." Benjaminus said to his men, and they grinned, licking their lips.

Two grabbed Arthur, and manhandled him over to a large boulder, over which they threw his arms and tied the rope between them to a sharp outcropping. The result was he was stretched upright, his arms over his head, facing the rock.

Merlin began to feel sick as they ripped his shirt from his back, leaving the pale skin clear. Benjaminus stepped forwards, now holding a device that made Merlin almost gag. A whip, but one tied with multiple strands, and embedded in them were bits which caught the light when he moved; glass and shined metal.

"No!" Merlin rushed forwards, but was grabbed and cuffed hard by another few men. By the time the spinning in his head cleared, Benjaminus had his arm raised, the whip swinging maliciously from his hand.

He brought it down with a sharp crack against Arthur's back, bloody welts immediately forming. Merlin flinched, and Arthur jerked, a muffled grunt coming from his clenched mouth.

"Stop it!" Merlin cried out, struggling to get free.

"Keep him quiet." Benjaminus said, arm up again. A large hand came down over Merlin's mouth, and he bit the rough flesh before it could clamp down completely. A curse came from above him, but Merlin hardly noticed, his struggles becoming desperate.

Arthur was hit again, the multiple lashes causing his back to split, blood dribbling down. Arthur could not contain a bit-back yell of pain.  
>Suddenly, the world was ringing in Merlin's ears, and his stopped struggling. He knew what he had to do. Arthur would see, but it was the only way. He closed his eyes, letting his magic fill his chest until it was begging to flow out.<p>

Merlin opened his eyes, and could feel them flash gold as the ropes fell from his hands. He took in the men around him, two holding him, Benjaminus preparing for another strike to Arthur's back, and others gathered around to watch with gleeful grins. Power flowed through his body, and the men holding him flew. With twins gasps they fell back ten feet, hitting the ground with thuds. Benjaminus turned to see what the noise was, and saw a trembling manservant standing alone, and his men on the ground.

But, Benjaminus didn't realize that Merlin was not trembling with fear, but with power. His face became dark, and Benjaminus' grin fell.

"_Astrice!_" Merlin shouted, and threw out his hand, shoving a raw burst of power into Benjaminus' body. The bandit was tossed back like a rag doll, and fell limp to the ground nearly on the other side of the boulder.

The rest of the crowd was backing away, gasps of fear and surprised sounding throughout the cavern.

Arthur was struggling to turn around, the welts on his back stretching as he twisted against the ropes. Merlin ran forwards, and came abreast of him with a worried frown on his face.

"Are you alright?"

"Merlin, what's going on? What happened? Where's the bandit?"

Merlin did not answer, his fingers uniting Arthur's bindings, and his mind raced. He wondered if he could get out of this with his secret still intact, and his brain was already sorting through excuses and stories...

Merlin helped Arthur back off the boulder, supporting his weight the best he could, as Arthur grimaced through the massive amount of pain.

Then an extraordinarily brave bandit rushed forwards from the formerly cowed group. His weapon was raised, and he was screaming a battle cry. Arthur tensed, but they had no weapons and he was in no condition to fight. Without hesitation, Merlin raised his hand and shoved him back, eyes flashing.

The man hit the opposite wall with a crunch, and that was all the rest needed to leave them alone.

Arthur staggered, staring at Merlin in shock, trying to pull away as his mind processed what he'd just seen. Merlin held on, and dragged them both out of the cave, and away from the slavers.

Then Arthur's mouth began to work again.

"Merlin?" He gasped, jaw still open in shock. Betrayal was filling his eyes, and Merlin focused on the ground. He was still supporting the king, gripping his arm around Merlin's shoulders firmly, but Arthur was making it difficult, struggling weakly against him. Luckily because of pain and fever, and Merlin was able to hold him. Merlin dragged him a few yards into the woods, trying to get as far away as possible.

They reached a clearing when Merlin's shaking arms gave out, and he lowered Arthur to sit on the ground. He remained standing, if only because he felt if he sat he'd never get up again.

Arthur, eyes still impossibly wide, stared up at him. Anger, shock, betrayal, and denial, warring over his face.

He knew. He _knew_. Merlin's knees wobbled, and then gave out. Arthur scuttled back at his sudden fall, and Merlin's stomach convulsed at the hidden fear on his face, and he leaned over his knees, clutching his midsection. The secret he'd kept hidden his entire life, the one thing he'd wanted to tell Arthur for years was now out in the open.

And it was all so wrong.

"Merlin, that was...tell me that wasn't..." Arthur could not even say the word. "Merlin, say something. What happened back there?" Arthur's voice was confused, panicked, angry...so many emotions. Then concern. "Did they hurt you?"

Merlin shook his head, staring at the ground. "I'm sorry." He choked out. "It wasn't supposed to be this way..."

Anger rose in Arthur. "Damn it, Merlin! Tell me what happened! And don't you dare lie!"

Merlin stifled a laugh, or was it a sob, finally looking up to meet Arthur's eyes. "No more lies." He agreed. And then took a deep breath.

"It's a long story, and you're not well." For he wasn't. Arthur was panting from their flight, pale lipped, flushed with fever and shaking. He was probably in a large amount of pain, both from running on his wounded leg, and the wounds on his back. Merlin realized that the position he's held him in had put his arm straight across the worst of the welts, gripping his waist to hold him up. Arthur hadn't said a word. Merlin looked down and saw blood stains on his arm, causing his stomach to churn.

"Merlin." Arthur protested, and Merlin looked at him in anguish.

"I wanted to tell you. I wanted to tell you so very badly."

"Tell me what? That you practice..." Arthur's weak voice stuttered out.

"Magic, Arthur."


	2. Welcome To The Fallout

**Title: **Dare You To Move: Welcome To The Fallout

**Author:** Arisprite

**Summary: **It all came down to either act or do nothing, and really the alternative was too horrible to contemplate. There wasn't a choice really, no matter the consequences.

**Word Count: **8,372 (Whole thing)

**Warnings:** **(General**) Wounds, blood, gore, potentially dangerous, and perhaps not thoroughly researched medical practices, tiny bit of swearing. No slash intended, but friendship can look like more from the outside. You're free to take my words however you like. **(This part)** Description of wounds and treatment, some torture, a bit of swearing.

**Disclaimer:** Obviously I am not the owner of BBC or Shine. I'm a college student! Title and song lyrics are from Switchfoot's "Dare You To Move".

**Series:** Part 5 of the Physician's Apprentice Series (formerly titled Five Times Merlin Had To Heal Someone Else, and One Time He Had To Heal Himself). Merlin has gotten tired of never knowing what to do in emergencies, and heaven knows his healing magic is unreliable at best. So he begins to study medicine under Gaius, just in case.

**A/N:** This part became a monster, and is much longer than any of the others, so it will be broken in chapters. Please, read, review and enjoy!

**Thank You:** To my sister, **Kate-7h, **who is awesome, and is my unofficial beta in all things Merlin. I owe you a treat!

* * *

><p><em>Welcome to the fallout<em>

_Welcome to resistance_

_The tension is here_

_Tension is here_

_Between who you are and who you could be_

_Between how it is and how it should be_

* * *

><p>Arthur looked as if Merlin had slapped him in the face. His head was shaking in denial.<p>

"You can't. _Magic_ is _evil_." Arthur was so sure of his facts, but hearing those words from Arthur, yet again, made Merlin shake his head, mouth working in anguish.

"No, it's not."

Arthur stared at him. He looked like he wanted nothing more than to shake Merlin, make him see sense, but Merlin was a few paces away, and Arthur's weakened body couldn't manage even that.

Merlin realized that revelations aside, he was failing in his duties as a servant and a physician's apprentice. Arthur was extremely ill and injured, and if he did not find shelter and supplies soon, then it wouldn't matter Arthur's reaction to his magic, for no one would ever hear of it.

"Arthur, we have to leave. Find shelter."

"No, you are telling me what you mean by magic!" Arthur said heatedly. Merlin stood and came closer to Arthur, trying not to notice how Arthur's sick body reacted instinctively to his distrust, and slight fear, making him tense and retreat at Merlin's movements. He gripped Arthur's arms, being careful of his back, and pulled him up.

Arthur came with him, if only because he couldn't stand by himself. Merlin winced as he felt the heat of Arthur's fever through his ripped shirt, his arm across Arthur's shoulders in an attempt to avoid pressing against the whip marks.

It didn't work. With a cry of pain, Arthur tensed, and then relaxed into a faint so suddenly that Merlin was hard pressed to keep them both from slamming into the ground.

Merlin staggered, and managed to lay Arthur down gently, his body limp against the forest floor. Merlin knelt beside him, panting as he surveyed his options. There was no way he could carry the king, not the way his breath was already coming in gasps, and his emotions were rolling causing his head to feel light. His thoughts threatened to spin away into panic at recalling the cause of his emotional distress..._No._

Shaking his head, he looked at Arthur beside him. Whether or not the king hated him for betraying him all these years, he needed help. Arthur would die if he was not tended to soon, and that was something Merlin would not let happen.

Standing shakily, Merlin raised his hands and muttered a spell. His stomach clenched at the thought that Arthur was right there, and could wake at any moment to see Merlin so obviously performing magic on him, but there was no time to waste, and Merlin needed a way to transport the unconscious king.

Arthur's body began to lift from the ground, as if supported by a giant invisible hand, the shreds of his shirt dangling down underneath him. Merlin's hands guided the movements, and soon Merlin was walking quickly away from the bandit's cave, Arthur floating gently along with him.

Some time later, Merlin wasn't quite sure how long, he stumbled out of a particularly thick patch of brambles, Arthur's hovering form in tow, and was startled to see a tiny cottage. They were on the edge of a small clearing, and Merlin stood there a moment, catching his breath. Cottages meant people. People meant either help or danger, and Merlin knew which he'd prefer. Exhaustion was pulling at him, his earlier light-headedness had given way to a permanent dizzy spell that had him hanging onto trees to keep upright. Arthur was little better, he'd not woken since his faint, but his rest was anything but peaceful. He was lucky the levitation spell wouldn't allow him to fall, or he'd have been on the ground multiple times by now. His face a flushed with fever, and Merlin was sure that if his wounds weren't infected before, they definitely were now.

They needed help, and Merlin prayed that this cottage would be that for them, or else Merlin didn't know what to do.

Merlin stepped back into the shadows of the trees, and lay Arthur down gently, releasing the spell only when he was firmly on the ground. The spell finished, and Merlin felt a sudden rush to his head, causing him to nearly fall over, before standing up straighter than before. He hadn't realized how much that spell had been draining him, but he felt stronger, though not exactly well.

Taking a deep breath, Merlin turned, and started towards the cottage alone. Help or hurt, this was their only hope.

He knocked on the front door, trying to decide in his mind what he could say to ask for help. But no one answered.

"Hello?" He called out, and there was no response. Merlin knocked again, and then tried the door handle, pushing the door open. "Hello, anybody here?"

There was silence in the little house, and the room was darkened and cold. No one home.

Then Merlin's nose caught a familiar scent, and he took a look around. Medical supplies, like Gaius though not quite as extensive spread over the back tables, and hung upon the wall. A cleared table, and a large fireplace made this clearly some sort of healer's hut.

Tears came to Merlin's eyes, ones of pure gratitude. _Thank the gods! _

Merlin hurried back out to where Arthur lay, and carefully lifted him again with magic, bringing him inside the cottage. There was a cot near the fire, and Merlin lay Arthur there. Then he set to work, for there was much to be done, no matter how his eyes pulled with tiredness, even through his elation at finding the place.

Merlin used magic to light the fire, fetched water from the well outside and set it to boil, and then removed Arthur's armour, and shirt (no small task as he was limp as a boned fish, and not very helpful). Finally, Arthur lay on his front, back exposed to the warming room, and his thigh was tilted to the side, allowing Merlin to examine them both.

The leg was bad. It had been a long time since he'd received it (hours? days?) and the wound was inflamed, weeping blood and fluids. Ugly redness surrounded the edges, and had started to creep outwards, a fact that filled Merlin with fear.

Turning towards the supplies that were stocked behind him on the wall, table, and in various cupboards, Merlin began sifting through them, looking for things he might use.

There was vinegar, and alcohol in pure form, an astringent to the wound. Honey will help with infection. Yarrow, mint, saffron all helped with infection and wound treatment. Willow bark and cloves for the pain . Merlin grabbed them all, and rushed back over to Arthur.

The king was tossing his head, moaning in his sleep. Sweat coated his hair to his brow, and his eyes were sunken, face pale and deathlike. Merlin frowned, and laid out his supplies on the bedside table.

Merlin mixed a tonic for pain and infection, and then he turned Arthur, and lifted his head gently to pour it into his mouth. Arthur spluttered, but got it down. The drink calmed him. and he stilled, though he stilled breathed shallowly.

Merlin poured the alcohol and vinegar over the wound, wincing as Arthur moaned, and then cried out, twisting away from his ministrations. A hand on his brow stilled him for a moment, though his face frowned in pain.

"Shh, Arthur. It's alright." Merlin murmured, pulling his hand away, wincing at the temperature he found there. Merlin turned to the cleaned wound, washed it again with just hot water, and prepared the waxed thread, and linen bandages. Stitching a wound, since those days on the battle field, was easy and Arthur's wound closed with small sure stitches. Then he bandaged the leg, and turned his attention to the whip welts on his back.

Arthur tensed as he washed these, then his eyes fluttered open.

"M'rlin..." Arthur mumbled, furrowing his brow, and glancing around in confusion.

"I'm here, Arthur." Merlin continued treating the wounds on his back, making note if any needed stitching or the like. Arthur groaned, then started shifting. "Don't move, I need to take care of your back."

"M' leg..."

"I know." Merlin replied, frowning. He turned back to the table of supplies and found a mint salve that would help the welts on Arthur's back. He dabbed it on, and felt more than saw Arthur relax at the touch of the cooling lotion. The king sighed, and fell back into sleep; proper sleep this time, and not unconsciousness. Merlin finished treating the whip marks, and then bandaged the whole thing, using magic to lift Arthur up in order to wrap the linens around his torso.

The last spell was too much for Merlin, and once Arthur was down, Merlin had to catch himself against the edge of the bed. His head spun in crazy circles, and he had blink a few times to edge the blackness back from the sides of his eyes.

Merlin himself was not well, bruised, beaten and exhausted, not to mention near panic when he thought about Arthur's reaction to his magic. He stumbled backwards, finding a chair only by mere luck, saving him a trip to the floor. Shaking hands covered his face, and he took a deep breath, and then another.

What happens now?

* * *

><p>Merlin awoke to Arthur's moaning, mumbling nonsense, and tossing on the bed. He blinked, and got up, his back cracking from having slept in the chair. He hadn't meant to fall asleep, but he had to admit he did feel better for it. Merlin moved forwards, and placed a hand on Arthur's brow, wincing at the heat that emanated from it. Arthur's fever had risen.<p>

The light was dim, the sun was lowering in the sky, so Merlin guessed it had been a few hours. He prepared another drought of willow, hoping to lower the fever and take some of the pain, but it didn't seem to help. * Arthur continued to moan and toss his head, even with the cool wet cloths Merlin lay on his forehead.

"Come on, Arthur..." Merlin muttered, wiping the cloth over his face again. Merlin wasn't sure what he was hoping for, but Arthur did not comply whatever it was. He checked and rechecked the bandages, finding them the same each time. There was little he could do but sit and keep the cloth cold and damp.

The light dimmed, and Merlin tried to keep busy to avoid thinking, stocking the woodpile, stoking the fire, and refilling the water bucket. Yet, thoughts kept popping into his head, ones of Arthur's betrayed face, and his own unease at Arthur knowing. Thanks to his nap, he no longer felt as if he were going to fly away into a panic, but the thought that his secret was out made his stomach churn in fear and nervousness. Perhaps because Arthur's reaction hadn't been the best (though certainly not the worst; he hadn't tried to kill him on the spot, though there was no telling what Arthur would do in his right mind, and full strength) or because Merlin himself hadn't been prepared to tell him yet. The relief he had thought he would feel hadn't shown up yet in any case.

Merlin swallowed, and looked over at Arthur. He still didn't look good, and his fever hadn't gone down any.

Merlin spent the next few hours preparing and then forcing a thin broth down Arthur's throat. He felt bad at cadging the food, but the owner of the hut was not there, and Merlin would not let Arthur starve. In any case, Arthur was the king, and they were still in Camelot. The one who lived here was Arthur's subject, and the food technically belonged to Arthur. Merlin didn't like that argument, and he really didn't think Arthur would either, but he was prepared to use it if the cottage owner came back and was hostile. The king wouldn't starve because someone was too greedy to share.

Not that Arthur could eat that much. Merlin only managed to get a bit down before he started coughing it up. Merlin wiped away the excess, gave him some water, then medicine and let him sleep. He'd try again in a while.

The time passed, a day then two, and while Arthur's wounds looked better and better, he did not wake. Merlin did his best to keep him hydrated and fed, while looking after the place, and resting himself. The owner of the hut did not return, and Merlin felt a stirring of worry for the unknown person who's kindness they were intruding on.

It turned out that this unknown person was as much of a book hoarder as Gaius, and with hours of free and silent time on his hands, and thoughts he did not want to think, Merlin spent the time reading. There were an unimaginable breadth of topics stacked on the shelves. The ones that weren't about medicine were about philosophy, history, mathematics, languages he'd never even heard of, and many other things. There was also a secret corner, which Merlin had found by accident, which held a number of books on sorcery. These Merlin devoured, took notes to try spells and incantations later, and resolved to keep a secret from Arthur. No need to get someone else in trouble. Merlin found he was well occupied, and as his mind grew calm with learning, his body healed.

As did Arthur's and finally on the third morning, Arthur blinked his eyes open. Merlin, who was engrossed in another book on Astronomy, jumped when Arthur cleared his throat.

"Arthur! You're awake!" Merlin said, shutting the book and leaning forwards. Arthur winced at the level of volume, and Merlin quieted his next question. "How do you feel?"

Arthur shifted and winced, then blinked up at him blearily. "Sore..."

Merlin looked at him, the tension he'd been able to forget about, returning. "Do you remember what happened?"

Arthur seemed to consider, his eyes heavy. He frowned. "We were...captured? Slavers... we escaped..."

Merlin saw the moment Arthur remembered, and braced himself. Arthur paled, and stared at Merlin, shifting backwards away from him.

"You-you fought them, with-with magic?"

Sad, but truthful eyes met Arthur's and Merlin could only nod. No more lying. Arthur shook his head, starting to breath quicker.

"But, you can't- it can't be!" The hurt and anger was resurfacing, and Arthur was staring at him like he didn't even know him.

"Arthur, calm down," Merlin said, leaning forwards. Arthur scuttled back, though it must have hurt on his half healed whip welts. Merlin flinched, and sat back again, sitting straight and unmoving in his chair. "Please, let me explain?"

"Why should I let you explain? It will just be more lies!" Arthur snarled, trying to raise himself up on his elbows. His body, however, had not yet regained its strength, and he fell back onto the cot with a grunt.

"No more lies, I promise." Merlin said, pleading.

"The promise of a sorcerer means nothing! I thought I could trust you!" Arthur snapped, his voice angry but weak. He coughed, and his head went limp on the pillow, though his eyes were still fixed furiously on his servant. Merlin lowered his head, and took a deep breath. It took everything he had to lift it again, and meet Arthur's gaze.

"I'm sorry..." Merlin whispered.

Arthur closed his eyes, either anger or weariness taking over, and Merlin fled.


	3. Redemption Has Stories To Tell

**Title: **Dare You To Move: Redemption Has Stories To Tell

**Author:** Arisprite

**Summary: **It all came down to either act or do nothing, and really the alternative was too horrible to contemplate. There wasn't a choice really, no matter the consequences**.**

**Word Count: **8,372 (Whole thing)

**Warnings:** **(General**) Wounds, blood, gore, potentially dangerous, and perhaps not thoroughly researched medical practices, tiny bit of swearing. No slash intended, but friendship can look like more from the outside. You're free to take my words however you like. **(This part)** Description of wounds and treatment, some torture, a bit of swearing.

**Disclaimer:** Obviously I am not the owner of BBC or Shine. I'm a college student! Title and song lyrics come from Switchfoot's "Dare You To Move".

**Series:** Part 5 of the Physician's Apprentice Series (formerly titled Five Times Merlin Had To Heal Someone Else, and One Time He Had To Heal Himself). Merlin has gotten tired of never knowing what to do in emergencies, and heaven knows his healing magic is unreliable at best. So he begins to study medicine under Gaius, just in case.

**A/N:** This part became a monster, and is much longer than any of the others, so it will be broken in chapters. Please, read, review and enjoy!

**Thank You:** To my sister, **Kate-7h, **who is awesome, and is my unofficial beta in all things Merlin. I owe you a treat!

* * *

><p><em>Maybe redemption has stories to tell<em>

_Maybe forgiveness is right where you fell_

_Where can you run to escape from yourself?_

_Where you gonna go?_

_Where you gonna go?_

_Salvation is here._

* * *

><p>A few hours, and some tears later, Merlin returned. Arthur was helpless, and no matter how much he hated Merlin, he needed help. Merlin would not let Arthur die, and if Arthur wanted to kill him later for being magic, that was for tomorrow to decide.<p>

Arthur lay with his eyes closed, but awake, his body tense as Merlin approached. Merlin sat, and the king did not move.

"Arthur?" Merlin said in a small voice. Merlin waited a moment, but Arthur was pretending to be asleep. "I know you're awake."

Merlin sighed, and folded his arms, looking at the king in front of him. "I want to explain. Will you listen?" Arthur ignored him. "Or you can just lie there, and I'll talk..."

He breathed in, the words he'd thought of over and over to explain when this moment came, his practiced speeches; all vanished. There was nothing to do but start at the beginning.

"I was born with magic, I didn't learn it. I could move things around before I could talk. My mother made me keep it a secret; the only person who knew was Will. Then my mother sent me to Camelot, and the very first day I arrived I saw a man getting executed for having magic...it terrified me.

"In Gaius' chambers, he nearly fell to his death; I saved him with magic before he even knew who I was. I was frantic that he would turn me in, but he didn't. He gave me a book of magic, to help learn spells and more control. Gaius has always told me to keep it a secret. You know a lot of the story from there. I met you, saved you, though you didn't know I used magic to do so. Your father made me your servant.

"Over the years I continued on, being your servant, being your friend. The only thing you didn't know about was the magic, and it's not like I could have told you early on. After that, I didn't want things to change, I was scared. Your father was still hunting sorcerers, and I didn't want to put you in a position where you'd have to choose between us."

He continued, outlining some of the stories that Arthur remembered but didn't know the full story. Then Merlin's throat went rough, and he stood to get a drink of water. Arthur lay, his eyes still closed, but his head was turned towards Merlin. He was listening, that was something. And it seemed easier this way, for both of them.

Merlin sat back down, and struggled to find a place to start again.

"I knew about Morgana long before she took over the city." Merlin said, for she was where the next part began. She was in league with her sister before Morgause took her. And she only took her because...because I..." Merlin broke off, old shame coming forwards. Arthur breathed out, exasperation clear in the noise.

"You...?" Arthur led, interested in spite of himself. Merlin smiled a crooked half smile, and then sobered. What he was about to say was one of the worst times of his life.

"Morgause enchanted the city, you remember?" Arthur nodded, and Merlin was both glad and not that Arthur was being a more active listener; it would have been easier to repeat this story to the blank wall he'd been moments ago.

"We got back to find the city asleep. Morgana was the only one spared, and at first I thought it was because she had magic. I began watching for signs that you were succumbing, as the only one without magic still awake. But then I felt it, and I realized she was only spared because she was the source, Morgause made her the key to the spell. She was the thing that was keeping it going, her life force. The only way to break it was to destroy the source. I told you that." Merlin took a deep breath, gathering his courage. "I poisoned her."

Arthur started up, eyes bolting open. "You what?" Merlin's eyes filled with tears at the memories, and he stared miserably at Arthur.

"I felt I had no choice. I was minutes from falling to the spell, and Morgause was on her way. I didn't know if you were alive or not, but it was the only thing I could do. Morgana didn't know what was going on, Morgause hadn't told her she was source of the spell. That's part of the reason she hates me so now, I betrayed her and nearly killed her. Morgause saved her because I bargained her life for Camelot. The spell broke, and she took Morgana away."

A tear fell, but Merlin wiped away the rest. Enough had been shed over that day. Arthur lay back, his face unreadable, staring at the ceiling. Merlin was just glad he was listening.

With a start, Merlin realised it was nearing evening, the light through the small draped window dimming. The fire was low, and there was a chill in the air. Merlin had neglected the house in favour of telling the story.

"Are you hungry, Arthur?" Arthur blinked, and glanced at him before shaking his head no. Merlin stood, and stoked the fire, placing another log on it. The flames crept higher. Arthur's eyes followed his movements, and he frowned heavily.

"What are you doing?" He finally said. Merlin looked over at him.

"Chores."

Arthur propped himself up on his elbows, this time managing it. He was getting his strength back, good. "Are you leaving the story there?" He asked trying not to sound upset at the fact, and Merlin smiled.

"It's not a story, it's my life. And it's over twenty years long. I won't be able to tell it all in one night."

Arthur huffed, and Merlin laughed, relief over whelming him. Arthur was listening, and wanted to hear more. Perhaps this wouldn't be as bad as he'd feared. "Plus, someone has to keep this place livable, with your lying around all day." Merlin teased, and Arthur looked around.

"There's something. Where are we? What actually happened back there? I remember escaping," Merlin noticed Arthur carefully avoiding the word magic. "But nothing after that."

"You passed out. I found this place, no one was home. We've been here three days."

"Three days!" Arthur said, surprise crossing his face. "And no one's returned." Merlin shook his head.

"It was a miracle to find the place. There were medical supplies for your wounds, food stores, and a well." Merlin said. Arthur frowned, his hand reaching down the blankets to feel at his thigh.

"My wounds..." Arthur shifted, feeling the lessened pain. "You didn't...?" Arthur waved his fingers, and Merlin shook his head, rubbing his neck.

"Healing's a bit tricky. " He said, uncomfortably aware how neither of them had said the word magic, save in Merlin's story. It made their uneasy return to normality all the more shaky. "Conventional medicine is more reliable."

Arthur nodded, and Merlin rose again and continued to putter around the cottage, putting hot water on, and making a bit of broth from the dwindling store of dried meat. He really should see about replacing that...Arthur watched him with sleepy eyes for a while, but eventually fell asleep, the excitement of the day getting to him. Merlin was feeling the exhaustion too, his emotions drained.

He woke Arthur to have him sleepily swallow some broth, but he quickly fell back asleep. Merlin blew out the lamps, and lay on his makeshift pallet soon after.

* * *

><p>It wasn't until the next morning, after chopping more wood, waking Arthur, forcing some more brother down Arthur's throat, changing the bandages and catching (with magic) skinning, and cooking a rabbit, that Merlin sat down to continue the story. Arthur was still pretending not to be interested, but he seemed calmer today on a full stomach and night's sleep. His wounds were better too, and he was able to sit up to listen. Merlin fidgeted in his seat, until Arthur rolled his eyes and tossed an extra pillow at him.<p>

"For goodness sake, Merlin. There's no need to look so worried. I couldn't hurt a fly right now." Merlin started.

"You're not...angry with me?"

"Oh, I'm angry with you." Arthur replied, matter of factually, and Merlin sat back again, a frown on his face. "But there isn't much I can do about it now."

Merlin sighed, and supposed it was better than a death sentence. He was listening, at least.

Arthur settled back against his pillows, while Merlin thought back to where they'd left off.

"Um..." Merlin began, not sure what to say next.

"Morgana, you left off with Morgana." Arthur said. Merlin nodded.

"Right," He cleared his throat. "Well, we found her again. And I thought she'd come back to the good, changed back to the Morgana I first met. But she was only worse. Did you know that time when your father was ill, and Cenred was attacking, just after we found Morgana; Morgause and Morgana planned that. I followed Morgana out to the woods, and they found me and chained me up. That's where I was that day I was gone."

Arthur stared at him, and Merlin smiled sheepishly. "I finally got free, and came back in time to help prepare for the siege, but what I really did was go down to the vaults, and face Morgana there. I fought her, and broke the staff controlling the walking dead."

"Does Morgana know about... you?" Arthur asked, still avoiding the word. Merlin shook his head.

"She can't. That would be bad."

"Why? I'd think it would be easier."

"It might...but she still underestimates me," Merlin pretended not to hear Arthur's mutter of "She's not the only one."

"It makes it easier to beat her, to stay hidden and fight from the shadows."

Merlin was finding it exceedingly awkward to talk about his accomplishments like this, but Arthur wanted to know the full story. Though it wasn't exactly the _full _story. He'd left the dragon out, Merlin wasn't quite sure why. Perhaps admitting that the Great Dragon was alive, Balinor was his father, and that Merlin was the last Dragonlord was a little much, mixed in with all the rest of the story.

He skipped the details of the next few months before Morgana's takeover of Camelot. But he did mention, to Arthur's shock, his involvement in the fall of the second immortal army.

"_You_ defeated the immortal army, and Morgause?" Arthur stared at him incredulously.

Merlin merely looked at him, and continued on with the story. Now they were getting into more recent events, and Merlin found himself more and more nervous as they got closer to the present. He would have to tell Arthur his actions when Uther died. He'd said no more lies, but he knew that if there were anything that would turn Arthur against him for good, it would be that day. Up to this point, his stories had shown him helping, doing good behind the scenes. But, his actions then had indirectly been the cause of the king's death. Arthur would not take that well, no matter how calm he seemed now.

"Arthur?" Merlin said, sitting hunched in the chair, and staring at the ground.

"What, Merlin? I'm listening, what more do you want?" Arthur was laid back against his pillows, and had seemed to have taken on an attitude of listening like one would a fairy tale. Merlin knew his next words would cause reality to come crashing down; he just hoped their almost truce wouldn't as well.

"I'm coming to a part that you won't like at all." Merlin murmured, and Arthur looked at him.

"I don't like much of any of it." Merlin shook his head, his face pale in the morning light.

"This is worse than anything before. This time, I failed. My magic didn't work, and you got hurt. So terribly hurt."

Arthur blinked at him. "I don't rem-"

"I was the old man, Arthur."

Merlin watched as Arthur's face went from confusion to understanding to fury.

"You! You were the old sorcerer!" Arthur's face was purple, and he was half out of his bed already. Merlin shrank back, looking at his miserably. "You killed my father!"

"No," Merlin shook his head. "I tried to save him, but Morgana got there first."

"Morgana-"

"She had a necklace placed around Uther's neck that would reverse the effects of any healing spells; Gaius found it afterwards. But I should have found it, sensed it!"

Merlin rubbed his brow."It was my fault, but believe me Arthur, it was never my intention that he die. I know how much he meant to you."

Arthur was breathing hard, trying to take in all Merlin had said.

"Leave me." He whispered harshly. Merlin nodded, standing.

"I'm sorry." Merlin's voice was only a breath.

Arthur lay down, and turned to the wall.

Hours later, Merlin returned to the cottage. He'd wandered the woods for a while, and then sat by the edge of a stream, deep in his ruminations. He couldn't seem to stop the churning in his stomach. Arthur knew mostly everything now. All that remained was his judgment. It was out of Merlin's hands.

He entered the cottage silently, taking in the darkened room, and the still form of Arthur, not in the bed, but on the chair, staring into space.

"You're up." The words came out before he thought of them, and he winced at the broken silence. Arthur looked up at him, slowly, his face unreadable.

Merlin shifted in the doorway, and then took a step closer, heading into the kitchen area. He'd planned on using the leftover rabbit to make a thin soup, with the root vegetables in the storage. Arthur was strong enough to eat the more solid food, and Merlin's stomach had been mostly empty since they came here. And if preparing food was something familiar, and something to focus on rather than Arthur's gaze, then that was an added bonus.

"Are you hungry?" Not that he wouldn't be forcing it down his throat anyway. Arthur, in his first acknowledgement of Merlin's words, shrugged. Good.  
>Merlin chopped the potatoes and the one carrot, and added it to the watery broth. Once it was simmering, he cleaned the table and knife spotless, then he sat and didn't look at Arthur. Finally the tension was too much. The smells of the food cooking were making his churning stomach feel like it was about to turn inside out, and Merlin couldn't wait anymore.<p>

"What are you going to do?" He stared at a spot on the table, one vigorous scrubbing would not dislodge. Arthur shifted in his seat, and Merlin almost felt it when his eyes fell on his neck.

There was a heavy sigh. "I don't know, Merlin." Merlin turned quickly, his heart in his throat. Arthur was still looking at him, and Merlin could not read his face. "I should have you killed. I should send you away. I should thank you. I should hate you. But I don't know."

"I'd rather skip the killing bit, if it's all the same to you?" Merlin quipped, some sort of relief making his tongue loose. Arthur confused was better than Arthur ready to chop his head off in anger. Arthur snorted, and Merlin smiled, just a little. It felt good.

"Arthur," Merlin then said, coming a bit closer to stand in front of the king. Arthur looked up at his servant, a few feet away. Merlin inhaled. "I'm still Merlin, sire. You know me. I'm your clumsy, annoying servant, your friend. I'll be by your side for as long as you let me. The only thing different now is you know about my magic. Does the ability to do this," Merlin raised his hand, and the lamp on the table ignited. Arthur flinched, but kept listening. "Make me an evil person, a different one than the one you've known all these years?"

Arthur was silent for a long moment.

"One side of me, a large part wants to welcome you and your magic with open arms, as the friend you've been. Another part thinks I may never trust you again. You've hidden your true self since before I met you. And I wonder, do I actually know you at all?"

Merlin, his previous cautious hope dissipating, gave Arthur a pained look.

"You do." He protested, voice earnest. Arthur lowered his head.

"I want that to be true."

Merlin suddenly felt a rush of anger flow through him, and clenching his fists, he turned before Arthur could read it on his face.

"What do you want me to say, Arthur? That I enjoyed it? Hiding all those years...that I plotted against you, and only wanted to take Camelot for my own? I could, you know. I'm powerful enough." Merlin's voice rose, and he gritted his teeth. That was not what he wanted to say. The words spilled out.

"But I never wanted to! Everything I've done has been to help the kingdom. To help you. My entire life I've been forced into the shadows, living lie after lie, knowing that if I slipped up, I would die. Knowing that my closest friends had no idea of the person behind my clumsy, bumbling servant mask. Knowing that even if I told them, it would only put them in danger too. Pretending to be a fool, to be an idiot, just to throw off suspicion.

"Losing everyone I cared about, and all for what? For a destiny I was told I have, one that you and I will bring peace to Albion, and some days...some days I just want it to end. Destiny can hang! Future supposed-to-be-s aren't enough.

"And you! You will throw away all my hard work, and pain and suffering, but I tell you now Arthur Pendragon, I will not allow that!"

Merlin broke off, suddenly as if he just realized what he was saying, panting a little in the wake of his speech. Arthur was staring at him, eyes wide and incredulous. Then he chuckled. Of all things, the prat chuckled. Merlin blinked at him.

"Feel better?" Arthur asked softly. Merlin coughed self-consciously, shrugging.

"A bit."

There was a minute of silence, and then Arthur, still looking at Merlin, smiled a small smile.

"Merlin, you truly are a wonder." Arthur said, and Merlin cocked his head in confusion at the non sequiter. Arthur sobered for his next words, looking into Merlin's eyes

seriously. "I'm truly sorry for the hardships you've faced.

Merlin nodded his thanks, face still a bit flushed from his rant. Arthur swallowed, and sat up straighter, wincing at his still sore wounds.

"I don't know if I can trust you, Merlin. Your lies pain me, as much as Morgana's did. But, now I know the reasons for your deceptions. I know you have not her evil in your heart...I may forgive you."

Merlin, who'd felt the pain of Arthur's words cut through his heart, suddenly felt a flutter of hope.

"Really?"

Arthur, stood painfully from his chair, smiling a little. "I'm willing to try. There is a part of you that I never knew, Merlin, and more things I'm sure you have yet to tell me. But you are Merlin, I can see that now."

Merlin sucked in a breath. He never thought it could be true! Tears filled his eyes, and he let out a weak part laugh part sob. Relief made his knees weak. He staggered, and Arthur painfully jolted forwards. Arms came up, and wrapped around shoulders in a fierce embrace. Neither were sure which was supporting the other, and if tears fell from both sets of eyes, no one mentioned it.

* * *

><p>Two days later, and Arthur was finally strong enough to leave. Merlin had stocked the cottage with what supplies he could replace, and cleaned the house from top to bottom (using magic and backbone) as a thank you to the mysterious cottage owner, who's hospitality was unknowingly given.<p>

Arthur had spent much of his waking hours asking Merlin all sorts of questions about magic, and his many adventures of which Arthur only knew of half. His earlier anger had given way to insatiable curiosity, and Merlin was hard pressed to keep up.

They were packing up what little they had, and Arthur was turning to Merlin with yet another question. Then the door swung open.

Two blue eyes stared at the brown set that had opened the door to the cottage, as if he owned the place. Which, he probably did.

A withered, but straight backed old man stared at the two young men in his house, his face an almost comic look of surprise.

"Who are you?" He asked. Arthur shook of his embarrassment, and strode forwards (if it was closer to a limp, then only Merlin noticed) and clapped the man on the shoulder.

"My good man, you have just saved the life of your king."

The man's eyes widened, and he took in Arthur before him. "King..."

"You shall be highly rewarded as thanks!"


End file.
